{"product_id":"sarcastic-holiday-hand-towel","title":"Sarcastic Holiday Hand Towel","description":"A cheeky, vintage-style hand towel that brings sass to the kitchen. Soft to the touch and printed with a retro illustration of a smiling cook holding a spoon and a glass, the design reads: “Sure — I’ll Just Cook For All You Assholes.” The muted, high-contrast print gives it a worn-in, nostalgic feel while the fabric blend keeps it lightweight and quick-drying. It hangs easily on a hook or over an oven handle and adds personality to chaotic holiday kitchens, late-night dinner prep, or everyday cooking when you need a laugh. This towel is made to be used — it absorbs spills, dries fast, and keeps looking vibrant thanks to modern printing techniques on one side.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 52% polyester \/ 48% cotton blend for durability and quick drying\u003cbr\u003e- Super soft, lightweight feel\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, high-contrast one-side print using modern techniques\u003cbr\u003e- Absorbent material for everyday kitchen spills\u003cbr\u003e- One size: 28\" × 16\" (71.1 cm × 40.6 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash separately: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White base \/ 28\" × 16\"","offer_id":46040016617607,"sku":"82883644098900058147","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0681\/1923\/2647\/files\/5309914365658399330_2048.jpg?v=1791218221","url":"https:\/\/lightandsaltboutique.com\/products\/sarcastic-holiday-hand-towel","provider":"Light and Salt Boutique","version":"1.0","type":"link"}